I had a decent weekend. The divine miss m was a marvelous flower girl. can't wait for the pics. unfortunately, the photographer said it would be about three weeks. good heavens - don't these people know we're americans and therefore cannot embrace delayed gratification?!?!?!

Moving on, I really have to start concentrating on trying to get some 'me' time. I managed it this weekend sort of and it made all the difference. I was so much more able to deal with the divine - and totally enjoyed it. Unfortunately, it's usually not possible, but I've got to try. For whatever that's worth.

B was way attentive last week as he found out that I want to go out with H. I see it for what it is. Remind myself of it constantly. It hurts but I'm aware. It makes me more eager to go out with H - I feel like if I can do that, if I can start a casual relationship with someone else, have that option, then it won't ache so much. I'll have something else to be excited about - at least the possibility of something. Whereas, now, there are no possibilities, nothing about which to be remotely enthusiastic. there is just every day and the wish that things could be different. If I can go out with H, then this non-thing with B won't be front and center on my radar. and that constant unsettling ache probably won't go away for a while but it will diminish, won't it? I think it will. Gawd, I hope it will.

<< & >>