So, as I lost my temper and found myself yelling at the Divine this morning, it occurred to me that perhaps she came by her anger management problems quite honestly. There's really little question that I've fucked her up and I'm sure that's only going to continue.

I wish the name of this was something other than ainsleesmom - there is actually more to my identity than that implies. Or, at least, there is supposed to be.

I'm in a very poor mood this morning, if that wasn't already apparent. I'm cranky. One mother at the Divine's school asked me if I was going to the Roman Holiday - it's at the end of February, do people actually know crap like that on Dec. 13th? But wait, she wanted to know b/c they are sponsoring a corporate table and were thinking about whom they would like to with them. While the latter part of that proposition is extremely nice, the first part means that it costs $120.00 per couple to sit there. Seeing as how I'm not a couple, that would be $120.00 for me. I can't afford these things. I realize that the vast majority of parents at this school do not experience the slightest financial difficulties and that $120.00 to them is pocket change but to me, it's monumental.

I feel like a failure in every aspect of my world. I've failed as a parent, in my career - when people do show an interest in me, I frankly wonder what the hell is wrong with them.

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