OK, admittedly, paranoia is ingrained into my personality or character . . . however, there are times when i'm fairly certain that i'm reading the signs correctly. the other attorney i work with has suddenly become the greatest staff attorney in history (yes, that's a slight exaggeration) but just when my productivity has dropped in dramatic fashion, hers has reached all time highs. Now, someone else does not have to falter just b/c that seems to be the only consistent factor in my life right now . . . but it is beginning to seem that she is really taking advantage of this situation. and in our staff meeting last week, after which she knew that i was going to be talked to one on one by the judge and it was going to be most unpleasant, she actually questioned me about an answer i gave on a case - not a big deal per se but she seemed to be in a suddenly superior role that i'm not crazy about. and she is also suddenly taking her own initiative without asking my opinion or thoughts in any manner to do things the judge has just casually mentioned to the both of us.

who knows . . . many, many things have gone wrong recently and i would typically think that considering the number of minor catastrophes that have assailed me lately, i must on some level have brought them on myself but i've analyzed every facet of the past several months and i just haven't discovered evidence of that.

so, for now, i'm concentrating on my efforts to refrain from sinking into the depths of complete demoralization . . . getting hideously drunk . . . or both.

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