last year, i came out to those few choice friends and my mother and grandmother. one by one, they have each let me down on this and last night was the final . . . my friend, we'll call her tori, the one i often describe as having the kind of friendship poets write about told me that if i wanted she and her husband to take custody of the divine if something happened to me (a subject we had previously discussed and i thought was a decided issue), i'd have to consider that they would be raising her in an environment in which they taught their kids that homosexuality was wrong and that quite frankly, she thinks it is. lovely.

and let me just say here that i've known her for 10 + years and the ONLY time i've ever seen her cry was when her two boys were born, she's just not a cryer, so i know that this was not easy for her b/c she started crying and i know that she would continue to support me, etc. but she was the only person left that actually lives in this area that i spoke to in depth about these things. and now, i don't feel comfortable with that b/c although i know she'll be there for me and listen, etc. i know that she thinks the fundamental foundation of anything i feel is wrong in the strongest sense.

one by one the people that are important to me have rejected this and in doing so, me . . . and now there's no-one.

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