really, really good quote:

"I'm tired of this yuppie feminism that says that I have to wear pants to be as powerful as a man. I love my legs and I expose them proudly, and I still could kick your ass any time."

A-freaking-men

anyway, easter was awesome. the divine loved decorating and hunting easter eggs. the easter bunny was quite generous bringing a new winnie the pooh movie and pooh counting cards and lots and lots of candy . . . we found that the divine doesn't like reese's peanut butter eggs but as the devoted parent, i ate those for her. never fear, however, she had plenty more to choose from!! i don't typically let her have a great deal of candy or sweets - usually those are limited to dessert after she eats a good dinner. but yesterday . . . well, she's probably still feeling the effects of her greatest sugar high to date. she got so excited looking for eggs; she'd bend down to pick one up and look across the yard, gasp in dramatic surprise, point and say, "There's more!" As if she forgot that we decorated two dozen the day before (big pats on the back to mom for that one!!).

how's everything else going, you wonder? hmmmm . . . pretty well. i feel like i've made real progress in the therapy department - i hear other people express frustration in trying to find a good therapist but i feel blessed to have found martha. i can see the progress i've made now and although i still have a long way to go in the whole living honestly department, i feel like i'm actually accomplishing something and feel confident that i am eventually going to get to a point that i'm happy with; that i'm going to actually finish this journey and find that the destination is one that i've defined and am happy with. i never thought i'd say that - it's just downright optimistic of me . . . and optimism isn't exactly my style.

then there's beth. hmmmm . . . i don't know. she was here wednesday to saturday - we had a great, great time. and yes, in one area we are undeniably compatible and boy, is that ever amazing. the thing is . . . where we are now is enough for me. i'm happy with it and i think that maybe i'm happy with it for more reasons than just my definite need for lack of pressure. and she needs/wants more than this from me. i don't know. she has qualities i'll never find in any one place again - but i really like independence and i'm beginning to honestly think that some people maybe just aren't relationship material. not b/c they are defective (although, there are those too) but b/c that just isn't what they want out of life - not where they're going to find fulfillment. and maybe i'm one of those people. or maybe not. one thing though, i know that i love her, i know that i'm in love with her . . . but i'm not going to be ready for anything more for several months, BEST case scenario. and i know that it's her decision to make as far as whether she's alright with that and i can't take that on . . . but it still seems unfair.

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