yet another weekend day at the office. however, since the divine was sick AGAIN yesterday, i missed quite a bit. bless her heart, she just can't seem to catch a break this month. we're getting over bronchiolitis/pneumonia and now she has the croup. however, i really thought they were going to tell me it was something related to asthma so i was actually relieved. and these are illnesses that pass - so many children suffer under serious illness or conditions - i realize how fortunate i am.

and strangely, i like to come up here on the weekends - i'm not sure what that says. i mean, i don't like spending time away from the divine per se - and the weekends are really "our" time. but coming up here alone, when no-one else is here and it is so quiet - it is really the ONLY time i get like that anymore. at home i have the divine and so the only time i'm truly alone with my thoughts is after she goes to bed - but now that's when i talk to beth, so i don't have any of that time anymore. now, don't get me wrong, i love beth and i love being the divine's mother and i wouldn't trade those late night conversations or being a very busy single mother (except that i would trade it for being a family with beth - for that i'd trade the single status) - but everyone needs alone time and i literally have none so i guess that's why i like coming up here on the weekends occasionally. it makes me feel refreshed somehow afterward, especially if i can actually get a lot of work done . . . so, i guess that's what i should go do now.

oh, but one more thing, the federal court in michigan called yesterday about my resume. they wanted to clarify something about the position i was applying for (apparently they have a part time, one year term position starting in March as opposed to the full time two year term for which i am applying which starts in September) - they knew that they weren't both posted on the Federal Information System and that I was probably interested in the September position but they wanted to make sure. I don't know if that really means anything but I would think that it must mean they are at least somewhat interested. I mean, they didn't just toss it or anything. This excites me on so many levels - beth, the divine, and i could actually be in the same place and start our lives together, in a place where we have complete familial support, and the next year, we might have another child; and then at the same time, it scares the total crap out of me - I'll be moving myself and my daughter halfway across the country away from any family connections other than beth's and while i feel so sure about us, what if i'm wrong, then what?! and i have to find a good preschool for the divine and i LOVE the school I managed to get her in here. oh well, just sit back and wait - we'll jump off that bridge when we come to it, right?

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