my partner, who we'll call 'beth', will be here in three hours - this makes me very happy. we are both very busy work-wise so this is a short weekend trip and then she won't be back until mid february - this doesn't make me very happy. but that's what we're stuck with.

i refer to her as my partner - partner, girlfriend, etc. - just labels. but girlfriend sounds frivolous or high-schoolish . . . or something. anyway, i guess it really doesn't matter. the divine will be as excited to see her as i am. in three short hours i get to kiss her again - i never thought i could look forward to someone's kiss this much . . . or someone's laughter and their arms around me or waking up with them next to me - good grief, i sound like some lovesick teenager, which i suppose is good.

i am sending my resume in for a job in the detroit area - it's on the federal level so i wouldn't have to be licensed in michigan right away. although, they have reciprocity under certain conditions, all of which i meet. so, after the long background check and forking over of some substantial cash i'm sure, i should be all set. but moving across the country, that is something to think about. however, we have familial support from her family there that we'll never have here from mine and with a child (and possibly another someday), that is significant. and there is movement in michigan to recognize second parent adoption and although they have a long way to go yet - that will never happen in the great conservative, basically backward state of Oklahoma - this is an important issue for us in light of my family's feelings. and if i'm going to relocate on such a large scale, i'd rather do that now while the divine is younger - it will still be a huge transition for her, but the older she gets, the more difficult it will be.

the divine is getting smarter every day - just turned two and can count to ten and say her alphabet, knows all of her primary and some of her secondary colors, knows her shapes including polygons, octagons, and pentagons and puts full sentences together consistently. i, of course, think she is quite advanced but who knows really. i do know that she won't be young like this nearly long enough - it will be no time and i won't be the center of her world anymore and able to make everything better. there is something inherently wrong about the fact that you put your whole heart into raising these glorious, wondrous little creatures - so they can someday go out on their own. but such as it is for all moms, i suppose. and it isn't that i never want her to grow up - i just want these stages to last a little longer.

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