Things I know:


How to make people laugh with one liners
How to make the BEST no-bake cookies
That careers/degrees mean absolutely nothing in evaluating your life's worth
That children sometimes need love the most when they're acting the worst, as do grown-ups
That you can tell a lot about a person from their friends
That if you're really lucky, you'll have at least one grandparent that thinks you can do no wrong
That loyalty is the most important characteristic a person can possess
How to play the flute
Plain, old-fashioned kissing is a marvelous pastime
Reminding someone of the things you like about them, especially the small things, makes both of you feel good
Higher salary doesn't always mean a better job, and certainly doesn't mean a better person
The basics of football
Tequila is the drink of the Devil


Things I don't know:


Why people aren't careful with each other
Why children are in such a hurry to grow up
How to whistle really loudly with two fingers in my mouth
Why cats like to drink out of the toilet
How to play the clarinet (I don't know why, I've just always wanted to)
How to plant and maintain a flower bed
How to cook, sew, iron, etc
Anything fashion related
How to litigate
Why the WWF actually has fans
How to change the oil in a car or change a flat tire


Things I wish everyone knew, but few seem to:

That just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I don't know football
How to merge into traffic: for the love of God, just GO!!
That I'm most likely to take off your head if you're being mean in any way to a friend of mine, so simply refrain. It isn't pleasant for either of us.
Life isn't black and white
That just b/c I'm quiet when you first meet me, doesn't mean I'm remotely snobbish
Flirting does not denote intent
Hokey as it sounds, meaningful gifts have nothing to do with cost

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